Great post Ayanna! This is always something that I wonder about…how will I know which is the right guy to marry! Probably why I’m still single ! I love your idea that it’s about learning to love the person you’ve found. I also know that it’s about truly loving yourself first too.

Thanks so much and I look forward to learning more from you and your blog!
Love, Sue
.-= Sue Vittner´s last blog ..40 Day Prosperity Program =-.

I’d also say that a key is in being the right person. It is easy to expect the other person to do all the work and make all the changes and not look at yourself.

Something that our culture doesn’t teach you is that although marriage is a lot of work, it’s not as hard as you think it will be. It gets easier over time. IF you take the time and effort and put it into your spouse. It is easier to be faithful, loving, kind, considerate when you have been making a practice of it all along.

Rich saw so many people in his work who would start working out, dressing nicely, etc, for someone other than the spouse. Either an affair or the next person. He told me he never wanted to be that way, to wait to make the effort for someone else.

Early on ever little thing mattered because we were still establishing the guidelines and determining what it meant to be married and a couple. Now, we don’t sweat it so much.

That is a gorgeous picture of you two, btw.
.-= Ranee @ Arabian Knits´s last blog ..Frugality (Part XV): Holiday Shopping =-.

Renee, you are so right! There’s nothing like looking for Mr. Right, when you are completely wrong! I also believe that being the “right” person will help you to attract the “right” person into your life. It’s a lot easier to change yourself than your partner. Before Bryan and I got married our marriage counselor told us that we would need to accept each other “as is” before and after we said “I do.” Some people get married thinking they can change the other person..but they can’t and this leads to so much disillusionment. That’s why it’s so important to know who and what you are saying “I do” to!! And that is another topic

So many people spend more time researching a job or studying in their field than studying and researching the person they will marry! It’s one of the most important decisions a person will make, but so many people base their decision on feelings. I just hope to encourage people to take the time to learn about marriage, what it takes to have a successful marriage, and to really use their mind as well as their heart when deciding to wed—then at least more people will know what they are saying “I do” to!

Thanks for posting this topic, Yani! Realistically, most if not all couples have probably asked themselves this question.
Why is that? Is it because when we are courting or dating our beloved, we can tend to put our “best face forward”? For example, does a woman watch sports with her man because she herself is a diehard sports fan or because she just wants to spend time with her beau. Or maybe it may be a man who pursues a woman he is interested in by planning every intricate detail of a romantic evening, but after the familiarity of daily married life sets in, he may expect his wife to handle the details because she is a stay-at-home mom (with lots of time on her hands) and he is working.
We maybe very sincere when we are courting to show our best selves, however later communicating a mixed message later in married life. Relationships are complex…this doesn’t mean that these hypothetical people deceived their betrothed or were being manipulative…but that is another blog…:-) The key is to to be honest and courageous; know yourself and don’t depend only on mere feelings. Ask questions and pay attention to red flags. Happy loving!

OOOO this is a juicy topic in its fullest sense of the word! You first have to define RIGHT. What is a the RIGHT person. Henry Cloud of the pathology inbedded in our “lists” of what the RIGHT person should be like i.e. college-educated, fine, nice teeth, 6 foot 4 inches, no baby mommas…..or pretty toe-nails, curvy hips, light-skinned, a virgin, never been married, yada yada
Cloud suggests that it is our list that make up our pathology when we look for a mate, sometime causing us to find the one who may not be right at all. I liked the comment above about “BEING RIGHT” yourself. If one doesn’t know themselves and their tendencies to choose Mr. or Ms. Wrong, how will they be able to recognize Mr. or Ms. Right? Or better yet, how will they handle or treat them once they find them?

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Hi! Thats a thouroughly interesting blog post. Its funny that I wouldnt have considered a few of the aspects that you mentioned but its defintiely given me some food for thought and a few things to consider. Thanks again for the post and keep it up! Cheers James

Raymond, thank you for visiting and commenting on this blog post. I love the topic of marriage and it is my passion to encourage those who have started their marital journey and those hoping to join it! I will be writing and sharing more on this topic and I look forward to having your input on future post!

Hello! I’m really glad you enjoyed the post. My hope is to start the conversation regarding was couples can build healthy and vibrant marriages and I’m really glad you stopped by to give your input.

Hi just thought i would tell you something.. This is twice now i’ve landed on your blog in the last 2 days hunting for completely unrelated things. Spooky or what?

thanks !! quite helpful post!

Really informative article ! waiting for more from you going to subs.