Welcome Back! If you've enjoyed this post make sure to let me know by leaving a comment!

 

 

Interesting question, huh? Well are you? You’ve seen those television shows where the parents are trying to live vicariously through their children. They are forcing their children to pursue dance—although their child would rather play sports.

 

Or maybe they are grooming their child to be a beauty queen/singer/actress—because by golly they are going to have a famous child!

 

Watch this video to see how bad it can get:

 

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, Jayda, I imagined that she would become a famous singer. I made sure to listen to all types of music and I sang all the time. I wanted my love for music to pass on to her.

 

Well, to my disappointment, when she was about 2, I remember singing around the house when Jayda, shouted in a loud voice—“Mommy, Stop Singing! It’s Too Loud!”

 

Stunned—of course—I did what any good parent would do—I kept on singing! Surely, no child of mine would actually want me to stop! And to my complete surprise, she repeated her request—“Mommy, stop singing—it’s too loud! Mommy please stop!”

 

And this was not the only time she asked. It became a regular request. Well, I was honestly surprised and shocked! You see, I wasn’t expecting to give birth to a child who would not have my musical interest. I worked so hard during my pregnancy to ensure she would have a love for music!

 

So what is it for you? Is there anything in particular you are desiring for your child? Dreaming of the next NBA player or Baseball Hall of Famer? Maybe you desire a Doctor or Scientist. Ballerina or Gymnast?

 

“That’ sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? After all what parent doesn’t want the best for his kids?

 

 We want them to feel confident, competent, and capable. We want our kids to feel loved, cared for, and valued. We don’t set out to intentionally frustrate them or warp them.

 

Too often, however, we assume that what is “best” means that our children should live their lives according to the script that has worked for us. Without realizing it, we try to create carbon copies of ourselves.

 

An often-quoted Proverb lays a foundation stone for effective parenting: Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

 

….A more accurate rendering for this verse would be:

 

Adapt the training of your child so that it is in keeping with his natural design; when he comes to maturity, he will not depart from that pattern of life.” (Different Children, Different Needs p.19)

 

This Proverb actually advises parents to nurture children according to their nature—to how God designed them to be. Well, now that I have 4 children I really see the importance of learning and observing my children.

 

I watch them all the time just to take note of how they are wired and to learn their natural bent. Are they introverts or extroverts? Do they gravitate toward technical things or the arts? Do they enjoy wrestling or do they prefer playing quietly?

 

I take mental notes and sometimes write in my journal all that I am learning about them. It has been such a joy to see each of them grow and evolve!

 

“As parents, we need to discover our children’s natural styles and help each one grow up according to his unique, in-born, God-given design. As they experience the collisions of life, they will be more prone to return to who they really are, rather than becoming permanently bent out of shape.” (Different Child, Different Needs p.20)

 

Well, it’s funny. After the incident with my 2 year old, who is now 5, I decided to lay off on trying to make her into a singer. She does enjoy music, but I’m not sure that she will ever become one. And I’m okay with that!

 

I have to admit, I’m still hoping for a singer out of the bunch…but instead of forcing it I’m just observing to see if there is any hint of it planted in their little hearts …..And I think I just may have one…Watch this video of Anaya (my 3 year old) and I singing a special duet!